My old friend, a fellow geek working at Adobe asked me to start a series which discusses mainly geek issues and problems like a Cosmopolitan for geeks. So I decided to start with the first one Geek 2 Geek: Asking Women out. Contradictory to the popular belief that we can survive on movies and Xbox and an occasional Jenna Jameson, we do sometimes need a girl in our lives. So my friend facing the crisis, came to me. Although we are prejudiced by the general population, I do manage to successfully ask several girls out and I am still learning and getting better at it.

Asking girls out is a three step process. Choosing the girl, asking her out and asking her out the second time. I ll be honest, I have been only successful at the first two, usually it just phases out and I don’t feel like asking her out again. Anyway lets go over it step by step.

Background Training:

Lets think about it. Women are human too. Just like we wont go out with a girl with whiskers, they wont go out with a guy with untidy razor sharp beard and a dirty head of hair. The picture above is of Napolean Dynamite, if you dont know who he is, stop pretending to be a geek and stop reading this. Napolean Dynamite and Bill Gates got lucky. Lets not leave things to luck. Hippies can pull off long hair,we cant , lets not even try. A basic hygiene standard is also easy to adopt,brushing our teeth , two showers a day , shaving so that you don’t keep scratching.

Being fat does not help. More and more of us geeks are heading to the gym now days. A simple 3 days at the track running and 3 days in the gym gives us enough endorphins and self confidence to stand in front of a woman.

Education wise,we dont have to worry. We will end up earning more than anyone else, just that now is not the time. Also we dont have bad habits of drinking and smoking which women detest.

Choosing the girl:

  • Lets face it we will be rejected. The most important point I learn t is that not to take it personally. As the Art of War guy says “If you wait long enough,the corpses of your enemies will float by you.” What cannot be attained must be ignored. Most of the time it will turn out that its a problem with the girl and she suffers low self esteem and she has to go out with a loser to feel secure about herself(I swear they have confessed to me). So if you ignore her long enough after she snuffed you, she will be back to you in no time. Women find men who ignore them very attractive, just dont go too cocky and offensive which is sometime my problem.
  • Lets try to minimize the getting rejected probability and as per investment banking terms “Lets diversify our portfolio to decrease risks”. So stop putting your eggs in one basket, Im sure you like more than one girl. Just ask them all out at the same time. Atleast one of them will say yes and you wont feel bad. The first rejection is very demoralizing. Avoid it at all cost.
  • Avoid girls who have too many friends and too much of a social life. Lets face the truth,you don’t have much of a social life because you have real pursuits and do not need the company of people to feel important. Girls with too many friends and social life and those who cannot just stop talking about “how much fun they had at their friends party” solely believe that “quantity is way more important than quality”. They get much more satisfaction just being around a ton of people rather than actually having meaningful conversation with anyone.
  • Avoid girls who want to get married and are above the age of 24. They are using the “Husband measuring tape” on you and both ways you lose. If you know this girl likes posing at wedding photos and gets excited organizing weddings and going to them, you are in for a “Ready to Wed” girl. They can be one of the least fulfilling of conversation partners.
  • Avoid girls who dont respect geeks and think MBAs or anyone from finance are the ultimate human beings. They are programmed to like boring people.
  • Whats left: Lets face it we have avoided a ton of people. But this is the homework you have to do before you can get down to the field and not be dissapointed.

Asking her out:(The very very Important part)

  • The most useful thing I have learn t that girls wont go out with strangers. Its only in the movies that girls are charmed by a stranger and just start going out with them. So even before you drop a hint that you want to ask her out, build some familiar ground to make her feel comfortable.
  • Try finding out if you have anything common with her. Chances are she also likes watching “House MD”. If you dont have anything common with her, dont fake it. Just walk away. Faking it never walks because you think she will like you and then you can  change her to be like you and that never works.
  • If you know what kind of movies she likes, just state it loudly that you are planning to watch it and that you like it so much that you dont mind watching it alone. 9/10 chances the girl will sigh and say she wants to watch it but has no one to watch it with. Just play along and ask her to join you.
  • If you are really really scared in asking someone out, use sms or email. I know its a pathetic thing to do but it lets you organize your thoughts and u wont back out that easily.
  • If you suggest to a girl about meeting up somewhere and she refuses, dont push it. Just wait for somedays, if she dosent bring it up again, abandon the field and go to greener meadows.
  • Try asking out a girl who likes you already. Lets face it , we may be able to solve quantum mechanics problems or setup a grid network of Xboxes but we are not good enough to convince a girl who does not like us to like us. So if u are getting a hint that a girl is over friendly and interested in  you, she is your next girl of interest.
  • Don’t meet random girls who you know through internet. Its a very very bad idea.
  • Coffee is a good idea for meeting fellow female geeks. They all love coffee. Remember to order latte for her.
  • If possible try to subtly show  a quality in you which is not geek like.  It might be artistic musical or you might be just plain funny. If you are funny 80% of the work is done.  Women love to go out with funny guys because they are uplifting and kill any discomfort. Just dont mock people.

I know the first step can be very hard. Just take it easy and go ahead because end of the day you have nothing to lose.