Slumdog Millionaire,Subway Diet and the Formula for Romance

Slumdog Millionaire

I watched Slumdog Millionaire before it officially released. Although a good movie with a good story and a reasonable cast(all adult cast) and a very enthusiastic Anil Kapoor, I was wondering if it was worth all the hype. Call me a cynic but if “Amar Akbar Anthony” was made by a british director and given such publicity, I would have believed it would have won Oscars. Atleast the song sequences were better than the “jai ho” railway station dance. Only people worth mentioning about the movie is the child cast who were natural and incredible. Dev Patel looks ok as Jamal and his British accent creeps in subtly. Anyway I ll try to be washed over by patriotism and be proud of a movie which most critics call “poverty porn”. Apparently the word “porn” is being used in ways unfamiliar to me.

Benjamin Buttons

If I would be really honest, I would think “Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons” would be one of the most boring movies ever made and the sheer bodycount in the movie puts Die Hard and Rambo to shame. Although both Benjamin Buttons and Forrest Gump are basically southern dull guys (Brad Pitt didnt look his brightest), I would say Forrest Gump’s life was way more exciting than Benjamin’s. Buttons managed to be so boring that I fell asleep only to be woken by my gf and a loud Filipino woman crying when he dies. Gump went to vietnam, caught shrimp, ran across America, met John Lennon, Buttons did nothing expect look sad.

I have gained 10 kilos over the last 3 years so I have decided to eat fast food to lose weight. Im trying a so called famous “Subway” Diet where lunch consists of  a 6 inch sandwich and dinner is a foot long. I am not surprised that Subway sandwiches have hardly anything in them cos even my toothbrush tastes better than them. Anyway I ll try to stay committed to my Subway diet inspired by a story of a man called Jared who lost 245 pounds eating subway. I guess if u eat such “Fat Free Taste Free” food, you ll give it up anyway. The Veggie Delight has been at the cause of many suicides and words like “Parmesan Oregano” and “Honey Mustard” have been mentioned in many eulogies.

February was apparently the month for love cleverly portrayed by companies to sell over prized stuffed rag dolls so that deluded girls would molest them and bouquets of flower which die in 2 days to remind us that life is very transient. The month ended up with majority of the male population ending up with spiraling down bank balances as result of gifting over prized colorful vegetation and cocoa seeds prepared with udder secretion of cows to the female population. This is even jazzed up with even more colourful words like “You complete me” (what are you a jigsaw puzzle with your gf the last piece), ” You had me at Hello”(Yah I am that desperate). Anyway apparently after a lil research, I discovered a formula for the propagation of love.    So you are already in “love”(definition:  stage of hallucination where extra effort is needed to continue in that state),what is the formula to maintain it?

The answer lies in two things, Valentines Day and Geometric Progression. Definition of Geometric Progression is “

In mathematics, a geometric progression, also known as a geometric sequence, is a sequence of numbers where each term after the first is found by multiplying the previous one by a fixed non-zero number called the common ratio. For example, the sequence 2, 6, 18, 54, … is a geometric progression with common ratio 3. Similarly 10, 5, 2.5, 1.25, … is a geometric sequence with common ratio 1/2. The sum of the terms of a geometric progression is known as a geometric series.

Thus, the general form of a geometric sequence is

“

So if you start with ur first valentines day gift to be 20 dollars(a=20) and you choose your r=2, next year your gift should be 40 then 80 then 160 and so on. This continues till it reaches four figure which is like the price of an engagement ring and thats when you propose. If you are not keen to marry, I would say start with a low priced gift of $2 to $5 because your r is mostly fixed at 2. Guys eager to get married start with $ 50 which is a good amount, a balance between your eagerness and modesty.

 

Year 2009:Flying Crabs, Beaches and Movies

2009 feels different. Landing in Singapore did not feel dreadful as usual, I did not feel like a sleep deprived zombie ready to be plunged into a cauldron of pain and boredom aka experimental physics. I felt lighter having completed all my coursework, all my qualifying exams and having a good project to work on. I had a gf who pretty much makes my life a million times better. I actually for the first time embraced 2009.

Having a gf in the same city as you are is a whole different ball game. If your choice has been good, the quality of life improves several fold. No more watching movies alone, no more sundays in Bras Basah looking at guitars, no more hang outing with K so much that we felt like a gay couple. Watching movies alone is fine, but watching chick flick alone sucks because when the lights come on after the movie you don’t want to be spotted as the lonely hopeless romantic, so you kinda predict that the movie is ending and u duck before anyone sees you. I tried that for “27 dresses” but ended up missing half an hour from the last part.

Initially its a challenge to balance the gf and the movie and takes time to get used to it. Like when I was first dating Niki (thats my gf’s name…to avoid confusion she is indian…rajput) and we went to watch “Yes Man”, I ended up watching nothing and cant remember anything from the  movie. But lately I have practiced hard to focus on the movie, inspite of having an incredibly attractive gf beside me and succeeded in appreciating “Underworld 3″. I did fall asleep during “The Incredibly Boring Case of Benjamin Buttons” but got awakened to a Filipino lady crying beside me towards the end of the movie because supposedly it was sad.

Niki is apparently a descendant of a warrior class called the Rajputs….which is the brunt of most of my jokes.  The hot headed warring Rajput blood has been diluted over generations to give us gentle Niki, who has to sleep every night with the stuffed Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. Surely that would have scared the Mugals, a stuffed toy yielding female at the battle field. Rajputs have been portrayed in history books to be sword yielding fierce warriors, but never shooting arrows. It was no surprise when  me and Niki went to this archery place in Suntec  city that a matchstick armed fish eating bengali like me did better than her. I sure if there was a sword fight she would win. Also the Rajputs originating from Rajasthan didnt have much experience with Sea food because when on 14th feb we decided to have a 1 kg crab for dinner, Niki pulled at one of its leg with such inexperienced force that it went flying across the restaurant hitting another patron in the eye.

These last few months with Niki has been great. There has been dancing, singing, drinking breezers while standing in the sea and a lot , lot of messaging and eating. Its cool to hang out with her on the beach during weekends or catch a movie or dinner with her.

Being with her I have ended up with nothing to complain about, thus hardly any blog entries the last few months. I am struggling to find things to complain about so to have stuff to write about.